But Lord, I don't want to want that!

A window into  my sinful heart.
Lord, I prayed I like that sin. I'm not going to ask you to help me avoid that sin yet, because it would just be words and I wont mean it. Like I said I really enjoy that sin; it makes me happy. Lord, I will pray instead that you will make my desire to please you greater than my liking of that sin. After that we can deal with the actual sin.
Have you ever been in a place where you enjoy whatever sin it is that you constantly find yourself?  I have always been a people pleaser, so through the years I have done pretty well at keeping the outward sins at bay, but oh boy the sins of my heart and mind are doozies. I have been ashamed to find as I Quest to know my Savior better that I like taking part in many of my sinful thoughts. My pride loves to look at others and make mental lists of how they are sinning. Boy do I feel good about myself when I put myself on an outward sin scale and find that they are way heavier.
I want so badly to know my savior better. For the first time in my life I think that I want this for the right reason. In the past I think I always wanted a great relationship with God so that I could reap the benefits. The miracles are great, but now just to know Him is fabulous! As I get to know Him better areas of sin in my heart and mind seem to blink like a neon sign. As I said above I like too much many of the things that I do so that sometimes I find I can't pray for help in those areas. I need to take it back a step and ask the Lord to make my desire to please and love Him greater than my liking of that sin. After that we can deal with the actual sin.