Screamers Anonymous

      I don't need to attend AA meetings but perhaps a good SA meeting would be good for me. Once upon a time I was a screamer. One of my kids would get me mad and I would scream at them and make sure they knew just how mad I was. 10 years ago when my kids were 12 and 9 I was convicted that screaming at my kids was a sin issue that I needed to deal with. I always justified myself by pointing out that I only screamed at them when they did something to deserve it, but does anyone ever really deserve to be screamed at???? I wasn't screaming at them so that they would learn to be better people. I was screaming because I was out of control. They did something that made my life somehow unpleasant and I wanted to punish them. My screaming was purely selfish.

         So when I was convicted of this I made a decision to not be a screamer. It took several months of biting my tongue and slapping my hand over my mouth, but finally it became natural to respond in a calm manner and to talk things out with my kids instead of exploding at them.
Ten years later I can say, I am not a screamer. I respond in a calm manner and am in control of myself even when most annoyed with my children" HA! Although I often go many months without yelling days like today remind me that I need to stay off of that platform because when I least expect it I will fall off.....and much to my shame today was the day that I fell off.
     My son, who in most aspects of his life is a very responsible young man, pushed my buttons this morning. For weeks I have been reminding him to do something and once again because he didn't follow through with this my morning was ruined....well that is how I saw it. Yes, he didn't do what I asked, my morning was made a little difficult (far from ruined) and yes I did have every right to call him out on this issue, but calling out should never be loud enough to scare the dog out of the room and wake the neighbors, it certainly shouldn't include phrases like, "I could throttle you". Really, what an awful thing to say!
I am reminded how often (many times everyday) that I do things that Jesus Christ has every right to be mad about. He reminds me daily in his word of how I should behave, and yet I continue to disobey. I am so blessed that when I disobey, Jesus lovingly points me back in the right direction. I may get the punishment that I so deserve, but it will never be given out of anger.
      When my son gets home this evening I will follow  up and make sure that he has done what he was told to do, but before that maybe I will go to an SA (Screamers Anonymous) meeting or better yet a Sinners Anonymous Meeting.

Yea Right, How are We Really Going to Beat Jericho?

Joshua 6: 1-5

Now Jericho was securely shut up because of the children of Israel; none went out, and none came in. ² And the Lord said to Joshua: “See! I have given Jericho into your hand, its king, and the mighty men of valor. ³ You shall march around the city, all you men of war; you shall go all around the city once. This you shall do six days. ⁴ And seven priests shall bear seven trumpets of rams’ horns before the ark. But the seventh day you shall march around the city seven times, and the priests shall blow the trumpets. ⁵ It shall come to pass, when they make a long blast with the ram’s horn, and when you hear the sound of the trumpet, that all the people shall shout with a great shout; then the wall of the city will fall down flat. And the people shall go up every man straight before him.”

March, blow horns, shout, and I will give you the victory. These instructions must have seemed so bizarre to Joshua and the Israelites. These people knew battle, they were well acquainted with war and all that it entailed and this was certainly not the way things had worked in the past.

Your little ones live out this kind of scenario every day.  We give them instruction, tell them they can’t have things, make them do things and all the while their little minds are struggling to understand the complicated reasoning behind our commands. As you teach your child to trust that you have a good reason for the things you ask of them, you are laying out the groundwork for them to trust God in the very same way.

Look for opportunities to point out the outcome of obedient behavior. When they wake up with a smile remind them that it was because they went right to bed the night before that they feel so happy now.  When sharing a toy with a crying friend brings a smile to the friends face let your little one know how wonderful that is.

As parents we make mistakes.  Sometimes we give instructions based on how we feel, not necessarily what is best for our children. Isn’t it a blessing to know that God always has our best interest at heart?

 

One of Those Days

        (If you are suffering from Clinical depression please know that I am not belittling your pain. I know that putting a smile on your face wont change things. This is about those, like myself who tend to let things like cold weather, a 5 pound weight gain, and spilling something in my car dictate how I look at an entire day)

          A few years ago a Face Book friend posted a comment about the phrase, "Its been one of those days". She said something about the fact that we all know that it means that it was a bad day and isn't it sad that we don't have a similar phrase that lets everyone know when we have had a great day. Her comment pops back into my  head whenever I find myself uttering that phrase.
Today I find myself in a contemplative mood so I can't just think about this phrase I need to mull it over, analyze it and see what the Bible has to say about our negativity.
           The very first Bible story that has come to mind is the story in Matthew 19 (¹³ Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. ¹⁴ But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”
¹⁵ And He laid His hands on them and departed from there.)  The disciples saw a negative, but Jesus saw something beautiful.
Later in the same chapter  (²³ Then Jesus said to His disciples, “Assuredly, I say to you that it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. ²⁴ And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”
²⁵ When His disciples heard it, they were greatly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?”
²⁶ But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”) Talk about turning a negative into a positive!!!! In this case there is a very real negative situation. A genuine life and death situation. Yes, Jesus speaks of the problem. He isn't pretending that it doesn't exist. He acknowledges it as a very real very dire problem, but right away we see Him lead us to the positive. He gives us a way out. I think that sometimes when someone is happy in the midst of a bad situation we assume that they don't understand just how bad things are or that they are naïve. Jesus certainly wasn't naïve!OK so now my search has taken me into the book of James and there right in chapter one my question on what the Bible has to say about our obsession with negativity is answered in full. Chapter 1 verse 2 says, "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials" the book of James is one of my favorites, because as I have said before, I like rules. I like to know exactly what is expected of me and exactly what will happen if I choose to Not follow the rules. The book of James lays out the realities of life. Life is messy, complicated and sometimes very painful. I love that James didn't stop there. He tells us why it is like that. There is sin in the world. Sin has thrown a wrench into all that is good and beautiful, sin is ugly and dark and hard to look away from....but even better than his explanation as to why it is here is his step by step instruction on how to avoid sin, how to avoid the penalties of sin, and how to live a life focused on the joy that comes only from above. James gives us a beautiful way to stay focused on all that is lovely and clean and joyful.
So I guess what I have learned is that yes, life is a mess, we can stay focused on that mess and wallow in it, but if we want to see the joy in life we must change our focus. How can we make changes and move away from the mess if we are stuck knee deep (and often chin dip) in it. Step out of the muck and mire, look to the Son, follow the instructions that He has laid out for us, and find Joy, HIS joy. The negativity will be always be there, bad things will happen. Deal with the problems, cry when there is pain, but ultimately Choose to NOT drown in it.